How do you do it all?
I often get asked some version of this question.
I used to wonder what this all encompassing ‘all’ meant until I thought more deeply about it. Let’s break it down. For me there are commitments that I have made to live a certain lifestyle, tasks I need to complete to get me closer to achieving a goal and some indulgences that I enjoy.
A commitment for me is defined as a willingness to give time and energy to something I believe in or a promise or decision to do something. I would categorize being married, having my daughter, working as a marketer, training as a STRONG GIRL, being a good friend and family member as some of my basic commitments in life.
A task is an activity that supports one of my commitments or a goal to develop a new commitment. An example here would include grocery shopping and prepping food for the week to support my fitness goals. These aren’t always glamorous aspects of life but need to get done.
Indulgences have become fewer as I grow. These are things I can live without but like to have periodically. This might include trying a new restaurant, getting my nails done or going on vacation.
Now that we have clarity around defining for you what ‘all’ is I can share with you my secret!
I live my life by some very clear guidelines. These guidelines help me to stay focused on my goals and what I believe is important in my life.
- Have very clear priorities. This includes my personal health and well-being, being a STRONG GIRL, attending weekly personal development classes, reading and journaling on my commute and from work. My relationship with my husband and daughter as well as extended family and friends. Advancing in my career that I happen to love. Any additional goals I may set for a particular year.
- Get comfortable saying ‘no’ to things that are not congruent to the above priorities or compromise my personal values. I loved to say yes to everyone. I thought I was being helpful and kind. However I didn’t realize how putting the entire worlds needs before my own made me feel. Soon I became an order taker. Someone who didn’t really have direction but followed others. When I found my voice to say no this helped me re-establish the power I have to direct my life. Don’t be afraid to say no to requests to do not align with who you are and want to be in this world.
- Help others and share what I’ve learned. My nature is to share what I know and to help others to find happiness where I too once struggled. It keeps me grounded to help others.
- Outsource what I don’t want to do. I just do not like to clean my house or cook raw meat. I’m fortunate enough that we have managed to budget for these services.
- Ask for some help. I used to think that doing everything by yourself was a sign of strength and independence. In reality only the truly strong can rely on others in order to do more of what they do well and to allow others to share their gifts. My in-laws help with daycare pick up which has become special bonding time for them a few days a week when I need to work a little longer.
- Schedule everything. One of my most passionate values is living with integrity. Which really means I like to follow through and do what I say I will do. In order for me to keep my word and help my household run smoothly we schedule everything and sync our calendars.
That’s it. Is it easy? No. Is it worth it? Resounding YES because I know I’m living my life with presence, with choice, and creating happiness and fulfillment along the way for myself and those around me.
So, what do you stand for?