The silent killer of relationships is expectation. The expectation placed on others as well as the expectation placed on self kills any opportunity to truly connect with where people are in the moment that they might need you.
Setting plans to meet with a friend only to have them cancel last minute might be a signal to check in on them instead of reacting to the fact that your plans have now gone up in smoke. It’s your opportunity to SHOW UP in the relationship differently that in the past. It’s your opportunity to be a real friend and ask some probing questions.
Is everything alright? Do you need anything? Can I help you with something?
At this stage of my life I have lived thinking for so long that I needed to be perfect in every way to everyone in my life. This placed a great burden of expectation on me and often put taking care of myself as last on the to-do list. What I realized was that I wasn’t being a good friend, wife, mother, daughter but instead a doormat for people to consistently raise their expectations of me to deliver.
Instead I reversed my thinking. I learned that to take care of my priorities first allowed me to be more giving and supportive of others. In addition a shift of mindset towards those around me to consider their perspective or potential impacts in their life when conversations or plans don’t pan out.
How can you begin to change your perspective to let go of expectations and ask more questions?