Perfectionism is in my opinion a modern day virus. It’s ever changing to the whims of societal desires and perceptions of what is either acceptable or ideal. It’s a toxic belief about who we think we should be and how we should manifest ourselves in our relationships with others.
The notion of being perfect for me is rooted in the belief that I needed to live up to the standards and expectations of others at all times. I need to look a certain way, act a certain way, respond to others in a certain way ultimately ignoring in most cases who I’m meant to be in order to be what others desired.
After some time striving towards perfection actually hollows out the core of being a unique human. Perfectionism steals that which allows for self-acceptance and self-love.
For me striving for perfection at all times made me less happy and at times unable to fulfill the wants of others because I reached a state of burn out. This state of fatigue and lack of desire might feel a little like depression but what it’s actually a powerful message letting you know you’ve compromised yourself and who you are. It’s the moment you need to pull back to re-evaluate how you manage yourself and life.
After throwing away the ideals of perfectionism and settling into my perfectly imperfect self I found an ability to grow faster, be more kind, find happiness again. When this happened I was also able to better serve the needs of those I loved but with one critically different aspect – I implemented boundaries.
Boundaries are an opportunity for you to profoundly express what you will and will not do to yourself and for others. It allows you to create a safe space and time in which to complete activities.
If you struggle with perfectionism I’d encourage you to begin to peel back the layers around why this is important to you and where this notion stems from. In addition it would be valuable to review your priorities and boundaries with others to begin to reclaim who you are.