When you lose someone close to you there’s always a twinge of ‘I wish I had more time with them’.
For me it’s usually sadness that comes first for the loss of the role that person plays in my life. After a while some relief comes over me knowing that it was their time and wherever they are it’s probably better for them.
I can imprint in my memory everything I want to remember about them. Perhaps it was their laugh or the way the welcomed me as I came by for a visit. Maybe it was the silly jokes or the long walks we shared. Even a favourite home cooked meal that will never again taste the same made by someone else’s hands.
But what happens when you have yet to lose that person and you find out that yet again they are very sick. This time is probably the last time they will become ill. Time is definitely running out.
What if that person and your relationship with them isn’t perfect? What would you do? Would you stand firm in anger or is it finally time to let go?
For me I’m choosing to let go and embrace what time is left. Too many birthdays, holidays and Sunday afternoons have passed in anger and resentment.
Those feelings are not worth the regret felt by asking ‘what if’ later on.
I’ll call more, visit regularly and do my best to take the lessons and hear their stories before it’s too late.
Wouldn’t you want to do the same?